Ask Kind Questions
Over the past 20+ years, most of the engineering articles and blogs that I have read have been purely technical focused. Not many of them have addressed a side of engineering that I learned much later in life.
I’m going to approach this topic from two sides, and want to break each down with examples.
1) You do not know the whole story.
If you ship enough products in your career, and have a semi-public facing position, it’s inevitable that at some point, people are going to contact you and let you know that they think your product didn’t meet their bar. Every so often I will get a random message on LinkedIn or sent via e-mail that says “Hey this product is pretty good, but you should have done it this way. It would be so much better.” Sometimes they come from fellow engineers. First, I am grateful that people care enough about the stuff that I work on that they would take the time out of their day to message me. Second, if you’re going to do this, please Ask Kind Questions.
Were you privy to the budget? The shipment timeline? The resource constraints? The component that went OOS during the middle of production? The line down because of a manufacturing defect? The regulatory and compliance requirements? etc. You are much more likely to get somewhere if you approach people and just be kind and curious. “Hey, I noticed this. Can you help me understand why it was done this way?” “Have you considered doing something like X for Y reason?”
Asking kind questions is how I wound up in my current role. I backed a product on Kickstarter that didn’t quite meet my bar, found the flaws in it, and made some calls. Instead of saying “this product stinks,” I reframed it to “I see that this is happening with your product. Have you considered X, Y, and Z? If so I would love to learn how I could help you make this better.” Most engineers that I have worked with in my career all want to do great work; but no matter how incredible you are, at some point you have to put the pencil down. Tradeoffs and manufacturing and technology development can all throw you a curveball.
2) Kindness and grace will be remembered.
Maybe you’re sitting in a design review, and your mouth starts to water because you see a flaw that the responsible engineer hasn’t considered yet. It would be so easy for you to just pounce. You might think that you got a momentary win, but there will be a day when the tables are turned. Nobody is perfect, and no design is perfect. Always assume positive intent. “I see that you approached this problem like this. Have you considered what happens when…?” lands much different than “Your design won’t work. This will break.”
In my 20+ years of shipping products, NONE of them made it to market alone. Be the person in the room people want to come to for help; not the one whose critique they are worried about. I learned this far later in my career than I wish I did, and I hope that others can make the same shift that I worked so hard to make.
Ask kind questions. Assume positive intent.